Bob Hoskins once said in the iconic BT advert: ‘It’s good to talk’. But in a busy world we seem to be talking to our smartphones rather than each other, leaving certain members of society - the elderly, unemployed, widowed, or single parents - isolated and lonely.
Realising this, walking down a street in Brighton one day, retired civil servant Stan Rosenthal passed a cafe. He noticed people engaging with each other, chatting and laughing. They were friends or colleagues who knew each other, but it sparked an idea and he knew this was the perfect city to launch it: A Happy Cafe. Rather than just service with a smile, this would be a welcoming space where people could come together to learn how to live a more positive life and connect with others. It was a simple idea with far-reaching benefits.
Connect Over A Cuppa
With the help of charity Action of Happiness, Stan, who lives in mid-Sussex, founded the first Happy Cafe in 2014 at the Emporium, in London Road. The idea was to allow people to connect over a cuppa while learning skills to enhance their wellbeing. This included literature, talks and events, building community networks and information on personal development. It was an immediate success.
Action for Happiness promotes evidence-based techniques for leading a happier life based on positive psychology. ‘This is not just airy-fairy ideas, but scientifically, researched techniques,’ explains Stan. Encapsulated in what the charity calls the 10 keys to happier living, these include giving, relating, exercising, awareness and trying out new things. ‘People are so overwhelmed with information, we thought it was important to get it down to manageable proportions,’ says Stan.
It was his longstanding interest in the environment and wellbeing that led him to join the organisation in 2011. His main interest was the environment – he was instrumental in founding an environmental group in the Labour party – but he realised that if people focused on the simpler joys of life instead of buying more and more stuff to make them happy, it would be good for the planet as well as for themselves.
‘We live in an ultra-materialistic society, but our connection to other people is where contentment really lies,' he tells Sussex Life. 'We should be getting our happiness more by meeting our non-material psychological needs rather than by buying it over the counter all the time – which is the root cause of the environmental crisis. It’s astonishing the way the idea took off.'
The network grew to over 100 cafes but the Covid pandemic led to a ‘shuddering halt’ and they had to think of other ways to connect. One casualty of Covid was the leading Happy Cafe in Brighton at Al Campo Loungers which had taken over from the Emporium. ‘During the pandemic we kept our Brighton Happy Cafe going by successfully putting it online, but we have now resumed our in-person Happy Cafes at The Walrus in Ship Street, a 200-year-old refurbished pub,' explains Stan.
Mental Health Benefits
‘It’s better face-to-face. It's about connection. Research shows that in face-to-face situations you get serotonin going into the blood producing a positive mood. We are currently faced with two epidemics: Mental health, particularly for young people, and the problem of loneliness. The Happy Cafe is designed to tackle both these problems. It's about prevention rather than cure. We emphasise that mental fitness is as important as physical fitness. The tools we have are about getting people mentally fit and that makes them less prone to illness. It's kind of a workout but in a nice, relaxed cafe setting rather than a gym, although we have had cafes set up in gyms.’
His cafe ideology is backed up by research. Authors Robert Waldinger and Marc Schulz in their book The Good Life: Lessons From the World’s Longest Scientific Study of Happiness revealed: ‘People who are more connected to family, to friends, and to community, are happier and physically healthier than people who are less well connected.’
Worldwide Happiness
Good news travels fast and following the successful template of the first cafe in Brighton, there are now more than 150 worldwide. The idea has spread to Australia, Cambodia and even reached the sacred valley of the Incas in Peru. A Happy Cafe set up at the Heriot Watt University in Malaysia was opened by HRH Prince Edward and top dignitaries in the UAE opened one at the Dubai Electricity & Water Authority. The Dalai Lama has even referred to the Happy Cafe network as ‘being an inspiring force for good in communities all around the world’.
One benefit of the Happy Cafe concept is that they can be set up in a variety of settings not just coffee shops or pubs. Venues have included community centres, climbing gyms, art venues, retirement homes, workplaces, hospitals and universities.
The latest cafe to be set up in Sussex is at the University of Brighton's School of Sport and Health Sciences. ‘As educators, we’ve seen students more and more stressed and their well-being is impacted,’ says Veena Raigangar, Course leader for BSc. physiotherapy at the university. ‘We thought that something was missing, an informal environment where students across all year groups can address their own well-being and talk to others.
'When students go out, it is usually at clubs or pubs in the evenings, and this doesn't necessarily suit those students that don't like that type of socialising. The Happy Cafe fills the gap. It provides a safe space to interact and relax over coffee and cake; a space where students can share some positivity. It shows them they are not alone, there are people like them that have been there, done that and they have got through it - it gives them motivation. It has proved so popular that staff have requested to have their own Happy Cafe on campus.’
In 2019 Stan was recognised for his work with a Points of Light Prime Minister’s award. 'People say what a difference it has made,' he says modestly. 'It’s certainly an idea whose time has come.’
Liz Stead runs the Brighton Happy Cafe. ‘I always say to people that the aim is to leave at the end of the evening feeling better than when they arrived. People have disconnected from each other, but we are completely interdependent, and people don’t realise that if you don’t mix with other people you are cutting yourself off from something vital.’
Stan calls it the three Cs - ‘connection, creativity and community’ with a bit of cake thrown in. One attendee commented recently: ‘It was a beautiful evening with great conversation and laughter. I loved every second of it.’ It seems Bob Hoskins was right all along, it is good to talk.
For more information on the Happy Cafe network go to actionforhappiness
