Cotswold bride-to-be Jessica Rose Moor writes about her wedding plans to DIY SOS presenter Nick Knowles.
Our Wedding SOS
Cotswold bride-to-be Jessica Rose Moor writes about her wedding plans to DIY SOS presenter Nick Knowles.
Once upon a time Cinderella met Prince Charming, they fell in love and he proposed leaving just enough time for Cinderella to go mental chicken oriental in the lead-up to the wedding. Then they got married and lived happily ever after.
Sound familiar?
There is a myth that a wedding is a time of stress and extremes of emotion - where hissy fits must be pandered to and it’s every woman for herself in securing the very best of everything for her special day. If you are not consumed with these emotions then others will consider you to be unemotional about your wedding.
On the other hand it must be confusing for a man, who proposes to the woman he loves and is prepared to do anything to give her her dream day, to understand why ‘who sits where’ or which caterer you use even comes close to the enormity of the commitment you are making.
He probably wonders, why, when he loves you exactly as you are, you want to lose weight. He might not understand why, as you are marrying the man of your dreams and being given your dream wedding, you have anything to stress about.
I received a fantastic book as an engagement present that had been passed down through four sets of friends. Called The Conscious Bride it features women revealing how they felt each step of the way from the engagement night to the aisle, warts and all. It explains why you might have cried on your engagement night, not always happy tears, and why the wedding planning process has left your mother making Susan Boyle look sane.
The truth is, at 25 I am marrying Nick, a man who already has three children and a career in the public eye. I thought any acknowledgement of being nervous meant that perhaps some part of me didn’t want to marry him which couldn’t be further from the truth. I absolutely want to marry him, but it’s real now, this is for ever and I’m taking on his life and all that goes with it. At times it’s been a little overwhelming.
It’s supposed to be all cupcakes and roses so heaven forbid you utter the words ‘I’m freaking out’. It doesn’t mean that you don’t love your partner or that you are making the wrong decision. It means that your subconscious is coming to terms with how your life is about to change.
Compared with other countries we do little to prepare women for marriage. There is a rite of passage that tribal communities go through whereas we westerners sit, hoping for an epiphany moment.
It’s no wonder weddings seem to have the ability to turn even the most rational of people, mad. I have a male friend who called off his wedding after his mother-in-law was insistent on having an ice swan - her exact words were “No ice swan no wedding” his reply, “No wedding”. He eventually married his partner six months later, abroad.
My own wedding has been a compromise between two very different personalities. Nick loves to be surrounded by lots of friends and family. I am a little more reserved and wanted the day to be about us spending time together. We came to a great compromise and haven’t had an disagreements at all - even with the guest list.
I have enjoyed planning the wedding but, in hind sight, have been doing it with perhaps too much ‘Monica’ precision. I went alone to choose my wedding dress and have been to all my fittings alone too. It came as a shock to me that my mum was upset to have missed out on doing this with me.
When I first came home and told Nick I had picked out my dress he said: “Aren’t you supposed to do that with your friends all sat around clapping excitedly?”
It’s a hard balance to strike in the quest to stay sane in the lead-up to the wedding but it’s probably somewhere between girly hand clapping moments and an organised to-do list.
With not long to go I plan to indulge a bit more and enjoy the process of planning instead of being so practical. A little less head and a little more heart now that the big decisions have been made.
I haven’t as yet had any bridezilla moments, much to the delight of my fianc�. My mum is coming to London to go with me to my wedding dress fitting and I can’t wait. We decided to leave about a year between the proposal and marriage and it’s come around so quickly.
Now I plan on enjoying our time left as boyfriend and girlfriend before we become man and wife.
Jessica’s wedding tips
Less is more:
“I have found the less options I have been given the easier it is to choose especially if you aren’t a decisive person. I am incredibly decisive but still prefer to have less options. I will narrow something down to a colour or a style and discard options very quickly if I don’t feel they are right.”
Lists:
“I started off thinking ‘I can’t write a to-do list it’s going to be horrific I have far too much to do’. The reality is that it’s never as scary as it is in your head. My to-do lists have kept me sane.
Appreciate:
“On a scale of world events a wedding is not a stressful phenomenon to be feared. It is a romantic symbolic day when everyone is going out of their way to make you happy. Enjoy and appreciate.”
Talk:
“Now is not the time for communications to break down. Talk, laugh, listen and cry if you are feeling overwhelmed but get it out and communicate with the people who are going to be involved in your wedding, they want to help.”
People:
“I have chosen to work with companies and individuals not only for their talent but because of the type of people that I want to be dealing with. I am working with people I trust, who are wonderful at their jobs and who I have a natural connection with. Don’t underestimate the importance of working with people who make you feel special.”
Don’t Use The W Word:
“People add zeros when they hear the word wedding. Be vague about the ‘event’. Some venues charge more for a wedding than for a birthday party. Be coy, don’t mention it’s for a wedding when getting initial quotes. When the cost goes up on telling them it’s for a wedding ask them to break down exactly why.”
